Wednesday, May 17, 2006
@4:12 PM
Popo, you'll always be the dearest person in my life besides Gong Gong. Without your love, patience, and care you have selflessly showered upon me, I will not be who I am today, allowing the glory of God to shine through me day by day.
You'll be remembered for your dedication to change lives- my life in particular.
The times you held my hand and walked me to kindergarden, shouted "long-long-wu" and imitated the sound of a train so that I'll get into line as a happy kid while everyone else was crying, joined the 2 side armchairs together so that I could sleep gleefully in them, chased Jiejie off my favourite mattress so I could 'win'...
Times when you cooked my favourite corn soup, ensured roast chicken was on the dinner table every special Friday, just for me; sat side by side making tang yuan from plain old pink-coloured dough...
Times when you accompanied me to wait for my schoolbus when I was an innocent Primary one kid, as you did your morning exercise alongside; dragged me in taxi to my dental appointments(something that you'll never spend money on), ensured breakfast was ready for me to take to school...
Of course, times when you and Gong Gong brought me to Science Centre, Bird Park; the time when you fell and hit your head on the esclator and it bleed so much, all because you were chasing after naughty little me(which made me repentant but for a day)...
These times may well have been around a decade ago, but the memories remain well alive in my heart, now and forevermore.
I've tried to make amends in the past decade by being filial and visiting you frequently, letting you have someone to share your thoughts with and dote on, but I know I can never repay you enough for all you've given to me.
It was extremely painful looking at you morph from a healthy, active woman who loved to go for walk-and-jogs, someone who loved handicraft(especially during CNY when red packets came into handy to hone your skills); to someone gradually deteriorating, ravaged by stroke, diabetes, pneumonia,renal failure, pain, and worst of all, the inability to speak anymore overnight.
It has been almost a year since I last was able to hear you speak. I know, Popo, that there is a million and one things you want to tell me, judging from the look you gave and the tears that collect in your eyes whenever I prayed for you, even during the days nearing your demise, but you could not. But I want to tell you, it's okay, because Jesus has heard you and He understands all you are going through. We love you.
Looking at the pain you had to endure for months on end, a part of me yearned to pray that Daddy God would come and bring you home soon, but at the same time, I was selfish and afraid, and wanted you for myself. I could not imagine the heartache of losing you, my dearest Popo.
I was angry with myself for not being able to hear you out, it was such a simple thing, but I was rendered so helpless everytime I see you struggle.
You have finally passed on. 15 May 2006, 1839hours, at NUH. You have said your temporary goodbye to Mummy, Ben Kaofu and me. I will always remember the single stalk of pink carnation that I presented to you on 14 May 2006, the last Mother's Day I could celebrate for you.
I will remember you for being my life changer, Popo dearest. The scars on your hand remain, pierced by countless needles; yet the candle flame still burns strong, and the flowers continue to adorn your beauty, made manifest in your love. Goodbye Popo.
I love you and always will. Till the day we meet again in Heaven, I know you will open your arms wide and welcome me beside Jesus, with that smile on your beautiful face again, held by a peace that has surpassed all understanding and pain.
I look forward to that day.
I promise you that: 1)Mummy and Ben Kaofu will be with me looking for you in Heaven one day, 2)I will be the best I can be in my singing and let the name of Jesus be lifted on high, & 3)be strong and not give up in any circumstance.
I love you, Popo.
Signed,
your beloved granddaughter.