every beat of my heart

Friday, September 28, 2007 @12:29 AM

My bible says that...

"THEN you shall know that I AM the Lord."

Sometimes waiting for the 'then' to happen is the greatest challenge. When we ask for patience, God returns that cry with circumstances to try us. Are we strong enough to last the race and trust that the final picture will be one of victory? The battle belongs to the Lord, and so let's hold on to what the solid truth in our bibles tell us.

Yes, I set my heart upon You, I set my eyes upon Your promises, I set my faith as according to the Written Word.

Monday, September 17, 2007 @7:21 PM

Empower people by believing in them.

Even as I was thinking through the week past and what we've all been talking about, it just made me realise the importance someone's words and encouragement at the right time can be so important. As I look back at my life, there are people who have spoke death and poured poison into my belief system, yet there are some who never failed to fill my soul with what the word of God says about me. I am thankful for these 2 groups of people, becuase without either, I will not be who I am today.

It may sound silly and filled with a tinge of sarcasm when one cannot understand: why be thankful for the ugly? (Disclaimer: The following is to be taken in context...) I am thankful for the words that may have broken my spirit once, because without them, I will be a passive, nuah, weak woman who lives in her own seemingly fairytale world. I am thankful for the people who have told me since I was young that I was not to be, that my dreams were meant only for the bedroom, that if the door can be locked permanently on me it will, that I was born to be the youngest and that meant opinions are never meant to be voiced out, that______________________________________________( *contents censored due to the openness of this blog, ratings to be advised*); becuase without these comments, I would not have developed to be as resilient as I would want to be.

Yes, sometimes I do come to the point where I wonder if this will finally be my breaking point, yet the WOG never fails to shine through, that my God will never throw me into the flames without hiding a fire extinguisher round the corner. In the bright orange flames, the red fire extinguisher may seem to blend in, yet if we stay calm and look, there we will see it. Isaish says that in quietness and confidence shall be our strength- how true is that.

In the sales industry, the turnover rate is frighteningly high and many crumble under pressure to perform and yet deal with seniors and colleagues who refuse to let them do so; and from here I learnt one thing which has been imbued into me in my Uni days, that only the fittest survive. Yes it is difficult and the harsh realities pierce us deep, but keep walking and holding on for the impending breakthrough.

Just though of sharing something I read here: "Survival is about performance. Every day in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death." Hmm...

On the other side of the coin, I am deeply grateful for the people who have never failed to believe in who I was created to be. Truth be told, there are so many times you have spoken light into my life, but my belief system automatically rejects the doses of truth, recognising it with a cynical attitude as temporary anaesthetics to make me forget pain, or perhaps as minute portions of morphine to make me high and happy but for a while. I believe there are so many of us who are like that: we know it is good solid truth, yet we reject it everso readily, because we cannot view ourselves in that light. It seems too pretty a picture, and sometimes we have to turn our head away for a laugh. And that's when the devil laughs together with us, because he his plan A has been carried out so smoothly without a glitch.

Then I wonder, what IF I do not have people who have kept on telling me I can, just because I tell them I cannot? What IF they stopped and got irritated with my attitude? I am thankful for friends that kept at it, who saw my life through God's eyes, because your words have played a major role in shaping my destiny, in building my belief system unconsciously. If you did not give me a chance to do this despite me not being able to see myself do it, my life would not have been as fruitful. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart.

Words do ADD alot to shaping a person's life and destiny. I can't help but reiterate, because this has seen its witnesses in many lives around me. Keep speaking to people who you want and see them to be. People need to be told that they have strengths, the more they are told, the more they are filled with confidence and boldness to display it. Who said that you cannot play a part in helping shape someone's destiny? It's time to start today. Have fun at it. ;)

Sunday, September 09, 2007 @1:14 AM

As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
Til the end of time forever
You’re the only love I’ll need

In my life you’re all that matters
In my eyes the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You’re the one that’s there for me

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you

Imagine me without you
I’d be lost and so confused
I wouldn’t last a day, I’d be afraid
Without you there to see me through

Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it’s just impossible
Because of you, it’s all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can’t imagine me without you

When you caught me I was falling
You’re love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard me calling
And you rush to set me free

Thanks Phoebe for introducing me to this song. Imagine me without God is akin to imagining me without love. Imagining it brings tears to me, because there have never been once I can remember that it was the touch of God on my life and his hand that led me through the past 6 years or so. We all have our individual stories to tell, and these stories made me realise that God is not an idea, not set in fiction, but He is solid truth.

Thinking back, there are so many times I want to run away from it all when the going gets tough. After all, God seemed like commitment, and why marry myself to something or someone that will eat up my precious weekends (and even weekdays)? The practical economist in all of us would rationalise and find no value in that. Life is short, play hard and enjoy while you can. But God has proven Himself so many times I have come to the point where I cannot tell myself it's just yet another coincidence, it's just the inner strength I have that has brought me through.

Strength. I have always thought I was a woman with great inner strength. I knew from young that when I set my eyes on acheiving something, there was no turning back. I would give my all for it. God dealed me with my fair share of trials just like everyone else, and I came back easily on track, making my christian life almost seemingly a bed of roses. God probably realised I was a tough nut to crack, and one day, the ultimatum came, all at one shot. That season of my life wa s spiralled one way down into darkness, though things appeared perfectly fine. Yes I still looked the part, played the part; yet it was no longer me when I faced myself. Was I the living dead, or perhaps going to be really dead the next day? Well, that was a long story in itself, but that made me realise that there is no option without God in my life, and He is 100% real.

It pains me when people do not see a need for God, just b'coz they are used to life without Him. There are times when we have our seasons of sliding away from God, yet there must be a reason why we realise that we cannot do without Him. For one person to say that, you may doubt. But when 23,000 people in one place have a story to tell, doesn't that eliminate chance and intellectual reasoning? I will be most glad to share my story with you, if you would listen, coz I simply can't imagine you without Him anymore. Care to listen?