Tuesday, August 22, 2006
@12:12 AM
Argh! 2 reasons for that erm...groan?
Firstly, my blogger server can't seem to upload my photos and convert them to HTML mode! Anyone can help? Otherwise, I can't share my nice nice photos with everyone already...=(
Secondly, I realised I haven't been blogging for quite some time. Reason being? Work! I'm in the process of adapting to abstaining as much as I can from having a nocturnal lifestyle, so in the meantime, I want more energy! Zoe life! A part of me wants to go out after work to have time with myself or others to relax, yet the couch potato in me secretly desires to come home straight after work and crash on the sofa. Hee...I should be more enthusiastic as a newbie to the workforce! Okay I am. I promise. Because when there is no passion, I will never see my dreams fulfilled 100%. And of course, for the sake of O..O..Ohio!
Anyway, Business Breakthrough with Dr A R Bernard was awesome. Now I finally remembered the reason why he still remains my no. 1 favourite speaker. Everyone arounds me finds him too cheem to understand, but this is what I love most, deep things that stimulate my thought life. He always puts everything very much in perspective, and that impresses me so much. I want to preach like him! (And it helps that people have been telling me that the messages I do have the chance to share, e.g. during preaching challenges and the occassional cg meet-ups, are always like Dr Bernard's style. Bu gan dang...to be associated to a man of his calibre. And of course, the fact that games I play in cg are always intellectual? Hee...)
It was really a revelation that came back to my mind about the words Dr Bernard shared about,
passion and
persistance/perserverance. It has always been this way: things fail in my life, I realise how imperfect I am more and more and more and...still MORE, and I come to God in my weakness. In that place, my heart surrenders to the fact that my emptiness and weakness is dissolved away, and all my Daddy God has to tell me is just 'I know you can. The greater the destiny, the greater the challenges. Run on, keep on! I'll always be there for you.'.
When I see how imperfect and not-so-pretty my life is many a times, I realise that what sustains me is not talent, intelligence or a born-winner thing in me. Of course I am called to be a winner in life, but when the rubber meets the road, let's face it, you (yes you reading this) know my flaws. Sometimes I overcome, sometimes I still am overcoming. But what keeps me going, are really the words passion and persistance. In fact, if you read my previous entries, you would have realised its what I'm been blogging about all along.
During my job interviews and conversations with people, they ask me what will keep me going when the going gets tough, and will I crash under pressure. My response has always been the same, that I'm someone that is very much into the buy-in theory. Get me interested, passionate, heat up the iron in me, and the rest will be history. I will do above and beyond, serve the company, make sure everything is not short of excellence. and give my all to make it nice nice. (Not trying to blow my own trumpet, coz it definitely takes alot to get me going and start the engine, many will know!) Many ask me, why am I still so onz about being committed to my vocal lessons and all? That's coz its my destiny, and I will never let go of it. In there, I know I find my place, my confidence is restored, and I am happy.
On my wall, there is a poster that I bought more than 5 years ago, and everytime I look at it, I remember I got to never compromise in life. It says 'Perserverance- The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will.' This poster shows a woman scaling a mountain under the hot sun alone, but yet she keeps going, she keeps looking up. Recently, I had a chance to rockclimb again during Emerge 06, and I finally remember what thrills me about rock climbing. Let me tell you, scale a rock wall alone under the hot afternoon sun for 10minutes, and the next moment you'll find hands covered with blisters from the hot rocks heated by the sun, knees with abrasive scars from chionging up the wall and not wanting to fall off, arms and legs shaking from all that muscle contraction, and sweat trickling, or gushing down your forehead. But let me tell you what thrills me about it all, is simply the adrenaline that fills you when you reach the top, look down and you can absail down the rock wall in style, with everyone down there cheering you on. Its awesome to know that you've made it. That drives me in life. Persistance outlasts persecution. It outlasts the greatest challenge yet to arise, and persistance is reflected in the nature of the humble, little ant- who'll always go over every obstacle in its way.
Go to the ant, you sluggard, consider its ways and be wise. This verse is what my secondary school teacher used to tell the class, and what a timely reminder for me. How about for you too? =)