every beat of my heart

Sunday, September 09, 2007 @1:14 AM

As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
Til the end of time forever
You’re the only love I’ll need

In my life you’re all that matters
In my eyes the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You’re the one that’s there for me

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you

Imagine me without you
I’d be lost and so confused
I wouldn’t last a day, I’d be afraid
Without you there to see me through

Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it’s just impossible
Because of you, it’s all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can’t imagine me without you

When you caught me I was falling
You’re love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard me calling
And you rush to set me free

Thanks Phoebe for introducing me to this song. Imagine me without God is akin to imagining me without love. Imagining it brings tears to me, because there have never been once I can remember that it was the touch of God on my life and his hand that led me through the past 6 years or so. We all have our individual stories to tell, and these stories made me realise that God is not an idea, not set in fiction, but He is solid truth.

Thinking back, there are so many times I want to run away from it all when the going gets tough. After all, God seemed like commitment, and why marry myself to something or someone that will eat up my precious weekends (and even weekdays)? The practical economist in all of us would rationalise and find no value in that. Life is short, play hard and enjoy while you can. But God has proven Himself so many times I have come to the point where I cannot tell myself it's just yet another coincidence, it's just the inner strength I have that has brought me through.

Strength. I have always thought I was a woman with great inner strength. I knew from young that when I set my eyes on acheiving something, there was no turning back. I would give my all for it. God dealed me with my fair share of trials just like everyone else, and I came back easily on track, making my christian life almost seemingly a bed of roses. God probably realised I was a tough nut to crack, and one day, the ultimatum came, all at one shot. That season of my life wa s spiralled one way down into darkness, though things appeared perfectly fine. Yes I still looked the part, played the part; yet it was no longer me when I faced myself. Was I the living dead, or perhaps going to be really dead the next day? Well, that was a long story in itself, but that made me realise that there is no option without God in my life, and He is 100% real.

It pains me when people do not see a need for God, just b'coz they are used to life without Him. There are times when we have our seasons of sliding away from God, yet there must be a reason why we realise that we cannot do without Him. For one person to say that, you may doubt. But when 23,000 people in one place have a story to tell, doesn't that eliminate chance and intellectual reasoning? I will be most glad to share my story with you, if you would listen, coz I simply can't imagine you without Him anymore. Care to listen?