every beat of my heart

Thursday, November 29, 2007 @2:10 AM

"Perfect"
Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend thatI'm alright
And you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand

Just like this song by Simple Plan so much. Yes, I don't outrightly listen to EL radio stations, so people will just have to tell me about them. And as much as this song borders on emo-ism, as a singer, I really love the way the type of voice singing, esp. during the verse, portrays a desire to want to be that best child, that winner in life. Yet, behind this trying, behind the innocent intention lies the scars of rebellion, failings and not-making-it ultimately.

Yes, we all are kids like that to our Daddy God. Try as we may, there are still so many times we come back tearful to the altar and say it- "I'm sorry, I can't be perfect". And the beautiful part about this is that the response never fails to be one of warmth and embrace.

Sometimes as Christians we want to appear strong and happy ALL THE TIME. But I just thought this song is so real, yes we may fail, but the actions following just gotta be to stand up and dust the dirt off our knees and acknowledge the journey ahead with an eternal Savior.

Another song I really like is a Chinese song by Landy Wen Lan, called Sha Gua (Fool). It's kind of a sad love song, but the part which I wanna share with everyone will be in it's chorus...

傻瓜我们都一样
被爱情伤了又伤
相信这个他不一样
却又再一次受伤

傻瓜我们都一样
受了伤却不投降
相信付出会有代价
代价只是一句傻瓜

And yes, that is the chorus for you. Just for a simple translation, this chorus says that we are all fools who have been hurt time and again by the things we do to love and be loved. Yet, we do not stop trying, because we believe that the next time round, it will surely be different. We will be hurt and injured along the way but we refuse to surrender, because we know the rewards will come, in being acknowledged as being a fool for love.

Well, being a fool for love does sound rather...duh. Yet, what I really love about this chorus in relation to our love for the people around us is that there are alot of times that we try love people who reject us, people who do not appreciate the effort, yet there is an inner call, a greater love for this cause within you that draws you back to love and perhaps be hurt time and again. Despite the battle-weariness, we trudge along and keep on keeping on, keep on sowing, because we have come to the point where the call and love within us surpasses our human nature to protect ourselves from being hurt and not trying again. And the rewards, though simple, lies in being called a fool, in context, a fool for Christ.

That is something that encourages me so much as I watch the Youtube video on it. It seems so foolish to keep doing something which will hurt you eventually, but just keep sowing, leaning upon the call of God's love for people in your heart. And that is what will take one through the journey of being a fool for Christ.