Friday, December 28, 2007
@3:46 AM
As I look back on 2007, one of the things that strikes me the most is how giants have left imprints in my life. Everyone will always say how a year holds many ups and downs for them, and in its own way, that was my year in itself.
2 of the main things that I focussed on in 2007 was my ministry and career. Having started the year wanting to give my best to these 2 areas, I am always so grateful that there are always people that God have used to cheer me to the finish line.
Ministry-wise, this was the year that I have been waiting for- or so it seems. Having been helping someone in the same CG for 3 years was really a memorable time. It was really a journey that started off with me wondering when I could lead my own group, and year after year, it did not happen. However, one of the greatest gifts that I will always remember was how our relationship grew from leader-helper to friends, and partners who complemented each other awesomely. It was so strange, and yet so true- the more I grew to learn how to complement Jialing, the more I enjoyed serving and filling in the gaps for her to lead, and the less I did want to lead my own group. Alas, the day came when I became a full-fledged CGL, and had my own CG to lead.
To be truthful, I remember how there were so moments where I felt totally inadequate, where I wanted to give up, to turn my back and run away. I remember crying out to God that I really could not carry on, with all my weaknesses staring me in the face, that I needed Him to take over total control. As I grew in my leadership, as I started relying more on the HS, as I started preaching, coming up with new ways to make CGMs more meaningful and fun, trying to be there for my members as much as I could despite my personal struggles, balancing being a leader but yet a friend, and the things too personal to be revealed on this blog....boy am I humbled by the awesome responsibilities...
I am so thankful for one particular giant in my life, who has been around listening to me, encouraging me, and just knowing that she is there to walk alongside with me. Yes, we had our emo moments (at Vivo 'sky garden' and on a special day at Orchard Partyworld =p), our emo-till-resigned-to-laughter moments (at a room in TR Road), our eat-to-store-up-fuel-for-fasting moments (at Cathay Sushi place), and all the other times where you allowed me space and time into your life, despite having to balance your couple time in the equation too. You are truly a blessing to me, without you, 2007 would be so different. I am very thankful to have found you in my life this year. So here, I just wanna say...THANKS FOR BEING ONE BIGGIE GIANT, DIANA! =)
Of course, it would never happen without my leaders, Darren and Angela. I always believe that though we do not have much time together fellowshipping, yet I am very thankful because I know I will always be under your constant prayers for me. There is never another zone I would want to belong to, because you have shown me what it means to truly love and care, and to believe in people. Beyond the words, beyond the actions, I'm very blessed to be under your covering. Thanks for the sacrifices unseen, my DYNAMIC DUO leaders!
Lastly, thanks to THE people who always bring much joy and laughter to my life! Thanks for supporting my visions, for trying your best to fathom me (I know it is absolutely difficult for the many 'I' people around), for trying to be more 'C' in your ways, for the bday video (that really meant alot to me, coz that's my love language! =p), for the times where you all provided funfunfun fellowship. Thanks for being understanding and loving and accepting me for who I am, though I really feel like pulling my hair out sometimes when...just kidding! Thanks for making 2007 so different for me, THY INDIVIDUAL GIANTS IN E348!
Career-wise, it was a year of much turbulence. Thinking about it, I never really shared the feelings I had of the struggles I had in this area, because it was difficult to sometimes paint the picture and for people to totally understand. I am very thankful for Wiardi, Rachel and Ken for being around for me, for asking me if I am okay, for buying me chocs to cheer me up, for understanding me totally. I guess it got really tough in the 2nd half of the year, and as much as I was someone who could wake up and forget it all, it was challenging to wake up every morning and have to face the dreaded feeling that I had to drag my feet to work and face people who put us down constantly. It is amazing how we are so different: 3 different companies, 3 different nationalities' between 4 of us, but we click so well together. I enjoyed being your Princess Meinu (and I still am okay!). Thanks for the great companionship, you 3 were GIANTS in my life! Other than these 2 areas, I'm also thankful for some unexpected surprises along the way...
I'm thankful for a 'resurrected' friendship. I've learnt my lesson, people really do count big big time. I know you girls have always been there for me, and I've always wanted to patch things up and come back together again, which was why I wrote that email in the middle of this year to you girls. I'm very happy that there is this opportunity for us to rebuild things from foundation again. We all have our weaknesses, and I definitely still have mine too at least, but once destiny partners, always destiny partners! Shall not mention names here for confidentiality's sake, but you know who you are! Cheers to a greater friendship ahead!Another thing which means the most to me is my family at home. It was not easy having to deal with the loss of the person I love most most most in my life (almost a year and a half back), she will always have a special place in my heart forever. However, I'm very glad to see a new dash of sweetsweet love between my parents this year- despite their quarrels, Daddy has always been one forgiving and understanding man. He never fails to give to Mummy, Jie and me, and Daddy, you are my BIG FRIENDLY GIANT! Thanks for pouring your life out to this family, and I'm always so proud to tell my friends of my Mr Nice and sweet and gentle and...all-the-positives Daddy! I'm thankful too for a Mummy with whom I can share my heart with, and her constant naggings with regards to...certain issues =p. Lastly, I never thought we could talk like that, but we are becoming more and more like sisters! The little things like being able to look at each other in the eye when we talk, going beyond the 'why-you-take-my-things' talk...all these make me excited for a greater year ahead with my familY! Truly, love makes the world go round...and speaking of that...2008 will be a great year of LOVE coz Jie and Ben, Diana and Lawrence; are getting married! It makes me excited coz I believe these will not be the only 2 couples, but more of my good friends are gonna get married (you know who you are my dear girl!) and others are gonna find their white horses! Haha, yes, you, you and you! And since the entry is already so long, I shall stop here and continue another day. Can't wait to start planning for a great 2008 ahead! =)