Friday, April 11, 2008
@1:02 PM
~Random Rambling 1~
We all want things to be done...
our way. But of course right? Since
our way is most seemingly the best way. Yet, there are those who give in and compromise, and there are also those who insist on their way no matter what.
In my opinion, the way to allow the best scenario to take place is really to be open to perspectives, in both attitude and actions following. Easier said than done though. Many of us will struggle with this because we have
our pride, and to back off and admit someone else's way is better than ours requires a great deal of humbleness, but more so, maturity. That's why give-and-take is very important. And that defines a great friendship too: a pair who neng2 qu1 neng1 shen1, where the crown is not permanently etched on someone's head.
~Random Rambling 2~
People of the upcoming generation differ from the previous generations more and more in one area: their wanting to commit. In the past, people would give everything to stay committed, and love the things they choose to the point of being willing to give everything up for it. However, more and more, the next generation want the option of choice. They dream of the day of freedom, of having no red tape, of having no boundaries. They can touch and go, with no fingerprints left behind. After all, we belong to ourselves, why should we allow others to make decisions for us?
Thinking about that, I guess I'm someone who believes alot in commitment. Once I form a habit, come to like someone/thing, I will give my all for it. To everything else, I say no, and by my firmness (percieved as stubborness many times), people around me have come to realise (and sometimes conclude) that I am a 'hard woman'. Haha, I guess some people will probably know what I'm talking about more than others, coz somehow, this attitude plays up more in certain contexts.
I love red tape, I should declare. Imagine life without red tape, without boundaries, without my leaders telling me what to do when I'm a kiddo raring to do the dumbest things that I am almost certain is correct...I'll probably to heavily covered in bandages right now. Mummified. Red tape helps me make the right decisions, even when I firmly see it as wrong at that moment. I will struggle with that and feel like the most unjustified soul, but I know that you mean the best for me. And for being willing to bear the silent unjustification hurled at you all in the form of vibes, I salute and love you ALL.
~Random Rambling 3~
A part of me is starting to dread my Fridays more and more, the major reason being the existence of vocal classes. Don't get me wrong, I still and will always LOVE singing. It's my life, the one that keeps me in touch with myself. Yet, the more I train, the more I feel that I am getting back to square one. Suddenly, it seems that I can no longer handle even the basic foundational techniques (is this the term man) such as...to breathe!
Sometimes, I get really frustrated with myself because I feel that I am wasting Laoshi and my other classmate's time, especially now that we are singing duets. Week in and out, we got to keep singing the same song, because I just can't get it right. And Laoshi said, to practise! Yes, problem is, I had! And if I practised and still can't get it, does that mean I have reached my glass ceiling and can go no more? My confidence drops to ground zero everytime I pick up the mic to sing now, and that pulls me way off from singing from my heart and giving my best.
I'm contemplating giving up for some time now, but the dream and vision stops me from doing so...this means so much to me that tears of frustration come to me when singing...I need the breakthrough!!
As you can see, yes, these are all very random...haha. Okay, ramblings show my human-ness what.